An Idyllic Saturday Afternoon in the Neighbourhood.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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Neighbour was having a bonfire.  He obviously could not wait for it to be either night or cold, two of the usual hallmark reasons for having a bonfire.

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Neither does he understand the importance of what you use for wood, and that treated wood, can throw of toxic fumes which are not good for the food, or the guests.

Gift bags don’t usually contain a free trip to the local hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation and food poisoning but I do give him some extra points on being creatively different.  I would never have thought of that idea for a party.

The last thing I heard before the explosion was, (I mean apart from people throwing up in the bushes) was, “if you really want to get a fire going, you need to ….”

There is something about the scream of sirens and the roar of 4 fire engines tearing up the idyllic Saturday afternoon street that just pulls a neighbourhood out of it’s seclusion and unites them all in a crowd  asking each other WTF???

I set up a lemonade stand and another neighbour set up a sausage sizzle.  It was great.

As in, no-one died or had to go to the hospital.

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Had a great time meeting some of the new neighbours.  Someone built a slip and slide from all the run off water from the firemen putting out the bonfire.

I am thinking that maybe we should all get a card and thank our neighbour for being such a giant dick head. Some of our best afternoons as a neighbourhood have been because of him.

SKIN:  [ROCKBERRY] Mira /Natural/
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Someday They Will Call Me a Hero.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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Someday, years down the road, I imagine the children of my children’s children gathered around discussing their heritage and my name will come up.

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And my children will talk about my amazing talent, my incredible athletic skills, my powers to defy gravity, the courage, the stamina, the sheer will power that it took for me to live.

It will be like we today look at the lives of the pioneers, and how they struggled in the voyage across the sea, how they traveled with ox and cart across the mountains in the cold winter, burying children as they went, fighting off savages and buffalo and eating dried bark.  We look at how they had to make everything, sans Avon Ladies and Tupperware.  We even wonder about the hardships of having to actually talk to and know the names of the people you live with in your family, no television, no cell phones …

Only they will be talking about me ….

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And marveling that I could even walk in these high heels, let alone run ….

I am super woman.

Ignore the screams … that is a war cry.

SKIN:  * Morphine: Nadine Native Skintone (Natural) for Penumbra
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

A Good Head On My Shoulders.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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I consider a set of horns a fashion necessity.  I carry mine with me everywhere I go.

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They come in handy for so many situations.
You know when you are telling the kids off and they are not really grasping how serious the situation is and that they need to pay attention?  Just pull out the horn set and suddenly they are not texting, and the eye rolling stops immediately.  After the first couple of times you can just threaten, “do I need to bring the horns out?” and they are right there, constant eye contact … and fear … fear is always a good motivator.
And you know driver rage?  Some idiot gets all bent out of shape and is stunt driving his car all around you yelling and waving his hands, or he might even be standing at your car door at the red light screaming at you to get out of the car so he can smack you.  Just put the horns on … the world goes suddenly quiet.

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I especially like the horns for that annoying friend who goes on and on and on about her life, her problems, her boring stories.  Just quietly reach into your purse and put them on …

She will know she is done.

If she has any doubts, just start singing … and cross your arms under your breasts, lift and put your hands under your arms and push out … makes you look fatter.

Horns and a fat lady singing is the universal sign for “all done here.”

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HORNS:  [LeLutka]-MALEFICENT
CHOKER:  {*A*} Flux Collection Barbed Necklace ( Aglaia on Marketplace only)
EARRINGS:  Aluinn’s Briar Jewelry
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

A Tea Party to End All Tea Parties.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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 I could have been the poster child for proof that children are heavily influenced by the pictures they see and the things they read.

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Some girl had a tea party and I was all over it, having my own.  Alice had a cheshire cat and I taped the mouth of my cat up in permanent grin and sat her ass down in one of my chairs.

I was a good kid though.  I knew that tea was hot and that I was not allowed to play with the stove and so I improvised.  I looked for something that was brown, and liquid, and that could substitute for tea.

My grandmother’s hospital brandy was the obvious choice.

Those little teeny kid size tea cups are surprisingly deceptive.  They hold much more than you think.  Let’s just say that the cat and I had a hell of a good time.  It was not long before the white hare joined us and the whole deck of royal court cards.  We were dancing and singing, on top of the table, below the table … and then suddenly there was a whole lot of throwing up and everything went black ….

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I don’t think they should sell tea sets with all those deceptive pictures of little girls in fluffy dresses having the best time of their lives.  I think Alice should have been more responsible and that cat clearly was a bad influence.

I am pretty sure that my experience was the impetus behind truth in advertising and the move to have all those toys where it looked like you were emptying liquid but nothing came out.

It was also the cause of the new cabinet with the lock on it, my community service project for the SPCA, and my exile to my bedroom for 3 years.

It was the tea party to end all tea parties.

SKIN:  * Morphine: Ghail Medium Skintone
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

The Closest I May Ever Get To A Baby Elephant.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

llil1
I’ve always wanted a baby elephant.  I mean my kids keep buying me perfume and scarves and plaques that say I am a swell mom and I keep cutting out all the elephants I can find and pasting them over the perfume and the scarves and the plaques that say I am a swell mom in the Sears Catalogue.

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I think there is something wrong with my kids.   They didn’t have all that testing back when they were little, maybe the schools thought they were being kind in keeping it from me.
I bought a hallmark card for each of them, scribbled over the clowns and monkeys and balloons and drew elephants.  They said, “Happy Birthday in advance and by the way, your mom really wants a baby elephant.”
I made anonymous phone calls and disguised my voice saying I was from the “Grant a Wish Foundation” and “your mom was so upset that she didn’t win, she cried and cried because she really wanted a baby elephant.  I am phoning you because you are one of her kids and we think you should get her a baby elephant.”
They hung up on me.
I finally had a friend who said that if I got her a white tiger she would get me a baby elephant.
So now I have to get pictures of white tigers and tape them over all the elephants and hope my kids get me a white tiger so I can give it to her and then she can give me a baby elephant.
I know it is kind of deceptive of me but I am desperate.
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Oh what wicked webs we weave when we practice to deceive … I hate that I can remember that like 100 years after my grandmother said it and my own kids can’t remember to add “baby elephant” to the shopping list every time they go to Walmart.

I think this is pretty much real evidence of the dumbing down of the world.

I made dumb kids.

SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. Nana Tan Nat
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BoomLipwax Goth
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DRESS:  Liziaah[LIZ] – Crystal Noir outfit 5
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

All In A Name

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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Aren’t these lovely painted flowers?   Aren’t they lovely on these pants and this top?  I can hear you nodding out their in viewer land.  I know you are nodding.  You should nod, even if you don’t want to because it is a nice thing to do and I have had a crappy day.

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My point is that painted flowers on clothes look nice.  That is my point now, it was my point years ago when I painted flowers all over my aunts wedding dress.

Some people can wear white, others well … they need that colour, lots of colour, all kinds of colour.  Did I mention colour??

My only mistake was that I should have painted them more up around her face where she really needed it.

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Oh … and I shouldn’t have signed my name ….
SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. Nana Tan Nat
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GLASSES:  (Yummy) Diane Frames – Black
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PANTS:  [Amarelo Manga] – Pamela Pants
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

The Great Modern Romance.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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Lingerie is one of those things that, after you spend a small fortune on, you wonder if perhaps you should just get a sheep’s outfit, learn how to properly vocalize with “baas” and be done with it.

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At least you would be warm.
Think about it, you spend a fortune, you put it on, you are half naked and cold, the room is dark, you are probably both a little drunk … if it does its job, it is off in 2 nanoseconds.
I am not sure he even has had time to appreciate the genuine french lace or the luxurious feel of the silk that a thousand virginal caterpillars wove in the moonlight over the Tibetan Mountains.
While he lights the cigarettes you get your reasonable jammies on  . . .   the  flannel ones with the little sheep designs, he pulls on his sweat pants and his socks … if he even took them off.
And as the years go by there is kind of a desperation behind all the lifting and cinching of the lingerie.  The lace and the bows are more carefully arranged and you need a little more material to be half naked.  The cost just goes up and up and still you are not promised that any of that is going to manage to pry the remote or the beer out of his hand.

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Which is why kids today might have the right idea.  Be young, be wild, record it all, so that later in life you can fall back on the good ole days.
Romance?
Pull up the selfie of you hot and young in the awesome lingerie and show him and say “Remember when I wore this?
And then he searches his files and says, “And then this happened?” and he shows you his naked pride standing at full attention.
And then pull out the video you took when he raced over to your house that night, and watch it.
Get in your comfy jammies, save money, save time.  High five one another when the movie is over, play some nostalgic music, air kiss, put the teeth on the bedside table and sleep.
Does it get anymore romantic than that?
SKIN:  Essences – Siggy TDRF01 *light rose
HAIR:  > Asset< Sophie Hair
EYES:  IbanezSmoothGlow Eyes – Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
LINGERIE:  (SELDOM BLUE) Lottie Lingerie cincher + babydoll set – blue
(SELDOM BLUE) LOTTIE SHEER LINGERIE – BLUSH
POSES:  Reasonable Poses
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

I Am A Great Sister.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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My brother was forever trying to gross me out.  He dissected the clams in the clam chowder to prove to me I was clam gut eater.

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I learned early on not to ever let him see the fear in my eyes because it just egged him on and he did not need any egging … well he did but . . .  as in the raw, rotten kind.
He saw a bunch of chocolate covered ants and bumblebees at a store once and he decided that we should eat bugs to prove ultimately who was the the best person.  Everything we did was the ultimate universe deciding championships – except when I won, then it was just a “practice” run.  
Did I mention that I hated my brother???
I hide it well don’t I?
Anyway he decided we could get our own bugs to eat and only sissy’s need them covered with chocolate. He got some ants, grasshoppers and bees.  It was a dare to the death.  I told him that if he would eat a worm, I would eat all the bugs he had in front of him.
I was on.
He ate the worm and smiled at me the whole time he was chewing, even stopping to show me the contents of his mouth because well … like I said … there was something wrong with him.  When he was done he pushed the bugs on their plate over to me and told me to start eating.  He was still smiling.
I picked them up and dumped them in the garbage.  He was enraged.  I had to eat them.  I said I would.
He was screaming and carrying on that there was no way for me to beat him if I didn’t eat the bugs.  This was the WORLD CHAMPION CONTEST and I wasn’t even a contestant if I didn’t try to eat them.
I have never been so happy to admit that I was both a liar and a loser.  I handed him his crown, his sash, and a couple of dandelions and kissed him on the cheek.

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I did try to point out that he had a bit of worm stuck in his teeth.

It was the right thing to do.

I am a great sister.

SKIN:  *  Morphine : Victoria Peach Skintone
HAIR:   Asset  Love Letter Hair
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SHOES:  [Gos] Boutique – Charlotte Mary Jane Pumps – Tangerine
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POSES:  Reasonable Poses
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

They Were My Two True Friends.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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This kind of sums up my childhood friends.  

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Except there could have been a cow in there too although cows can’t be dressed up that easily and they don’t bend well to fit into those little chairs you get to go with the table and chair sets.  For some reasons your own table and chair set seems to be a necessary thing in defining your gender.  All little girls get some, but not the boys.  I have to say if my hubby ever bought me a table and chairs as a Christmas gift, it would be his last Christmas on this earth. They have not figured that huge in my life.   Am I missing something?   I have never really understood that and felt perhaps I should have insisted that none of the men be allowed to sit at the table on a chair because they were not conditioned to fully understand the importance of these things.  I mean if only the girls needed to know this stuff …

Well maybe they could sit, but the girls should have cattle prods so they can make sure the men are doing it right.

Anyway yes the chimp and the dressmakers mannequin … my true friends, the only ones I have managed to keep my entire life.

I played with them a lot.  I stole the monkey from my brother.  I didn’t want a monkey but he really did and it was a Christmas gift I peeked at … came from a distant maiden aunt who was always confused so I switched the tags on her gifts.  Biff got a pretty tea set which he still uses I think.  He loved Snow White.  I got the monkey . . . and to see my brother cry which pretty much made THAT Christmas for me.

I found the monkey and the mannequin excellent company.  No arguments about what we were playing, what they had to wear, or the lines I needed them to say.  The cow was never that compliable.  I think they kind of ruined me for all the friends I would have later in life .. you know … unreal expectations and all …

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Sometimes I still take them out for family dinners . . . so that I have someone to talk to.

And to see my brother cry.

That never gets old.

SKIN:  7DS 7 Deadly s{K}ins Elian
HAIR:  TRUTH  Lagertha –  light blondes
EYES:  IbanezSmoothGlow Eyes – Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
EARRINGS:  A&AnaF.J. I choose you Earrings
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GLASSES:  [LCKY] Peeks Glasses // Wild
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DRESS:  * Morphine: Celeste’s Dress (Chic)
LEGGINGS:  .:7th Store
NAILS:  [Bamboo] Nails  – Spring French
SHOES:  [Gos] Boutique – Eva Slingback V2 – Baby Pink
POSES:  Reasonable Poses
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Warm and Fuzzy Bed Time Story.

Previously posted @ Blissimo.

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You should be careful what wildlife you save.

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I think Mother Nature has some rules about Natural Laws.  Like maybe those Saturday morning movies where one man saves someone and then that person hangs around them forever in the shadows because they say that they now are their token animal or something and have to be there forever to take care of them were really true.  Not to be confused with the romantic Saturday afternoon movies where a man and a woman meet and there is  rose petals and stardust and he promises to love her forever and take care of her and they live happily ever after … those are complete bullshit.
But when Mother Nature does stuff and makes up rules it is for real.
So if you save a spider or an earth worm … they go and tell everyone that you did that and then one night when you are least expecting it you wake up and there is a herd of earth worms or spiders all there worshiping you because you are like this giant benevolent human who did magic and saved them from sure death.
They dance naked in the moonlight.  

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I mean how else do you think that they fall in your mouth when you are sleeping?  That happens you know.  I read it on the internet – “50 Icky Things You Don’t Want To Know.”  The average human (not the ones with 3 hands or 2 noses) swallows 17 spiders and 23 earth worms in their sleep during their life time.

Ok maybe the earth worm one isn’t completely accurate … I think it is only 11 earth worms.  There would be more but the others that are standing on your face worshiping you while you sleep have a longer reach and can fish them fallen worm out of your mouth before you swallow.  The spiders are just genetically engineered to die in mouth caverns of their great and benevolent human king/queen . . . while they dance .. naked.

Virgins are not very sure footed.

Sleep well.

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Elymodesumermix sea
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FROG:  Striking Poses
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well … I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria’s other blogs – find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!